About Me

I'm Heidi in Utah, mother of 3 teenagers - the first of which is headed off to college next Fall.

It's been a rough ride for these past 12 yrs as a single-parent.  I've dealt with more challenges than I can name.  But...looking back, it's been a good life.  I've learned things that I might not have otherwise learned.  I've overcome a lot of heartache and grief, sorrow and suffering, and have really had to pray for help to forgive those who have 'trespassed against me'.  And to be forgiven for any I might have wronged in my life.  I believe that all these things have been for my experience and for my good.

I hope that I'm more refined, compassionate, understanding and caring.  We've had to be extremely frugal and live without many things.  We bake our own bread, shop at D.I. and, sometimes cut our own hair or do without cuts.

We've moved 12 times in this same time period.  In an effort to be home with my children, as I felt strongly to do, we've had to be creative in providing an income and being home.  We've done some 'cottage' industries as well as elderly care for 3 1/2 yrs.   We've done yard work, sales, service, callings and home-based businesses.  We've tried to serve those in need and are grateful for those who have helped us.

4 car accidents (people hitting us and totally our vehicles) in 8 yrs. has taken a toll on me physically.  Yet, 'ironcally', those same accidents provided the way whereby I was home with my children and....we were 'lead' to 'alternative' therapies that have helped us overcome the pain and suffering from the divorce and the abuse.  I feel (know) that those things have actually been a great blessing in our lives.   We've received help that we wouldn't have otherwise known about or sought and, though I won't share the details here, have seen the hand of the Lord in our lives more than we could have ever imagined.

I know there are many people in the church who are single-parents.  It's probably one of the hardest things any of us can deal with.  In my doctrinal studies (I love doctrine) I've come to know that some of the hardest trials in life can be some of the greatest blessings.  But, that doesn't mean that they're not the most painful things one can suffer in life.

Because of our belief in family and marriage, divorce can be excruciatingly difficult.  It goes against all we hold dear and believe in.  Children lose their 'foundation', and adults can lose their stability, finances, homes, friends, support-system etc.

I've had very unkind things said to me by well-meaning people at times.  A few of those times I would go home and sob.  They had no idea of what they spoke.  Yet, they were 'trying' to be helpful.

Ought we strive to be more sensitive to others'?  Perhaps one of the greatest things we can learn in this life is kindness to one another.  The Savior, our exemplar, spoke only 'truths'.  He did not give 'advice'.  He did 'counsel' - and all things He spoke were true principles - in love and admonishment - yet always exactly what needed to be said.  He spoke by the Spirit.

I don't know what my future holds. I have longed to be married. I have striven to keep myself worthy in all ways and to be loving and kind to those around me.  I care about other people and have tried to have a service-oriented heart.  I've sought to put the Lord first in all things and to be led by Him as to decisions, finances, family, and in helping my children.

Sometimes I've been exhausted. Often, in fact.  Yet, He's helped me, guided me, and comforted me.  I'm grateful for the things I've learned and hope that I've become what He's wanted me to become.

Thanks for all and any support that you give to single-parents.  They are all at different places in their journey.  It takes a lot of work to overcome the pain and suffering that comes with divorce.  Some seem not to be overcoming it.  We are not to be the judge.  We don't know all that has occurred in their lives.  Just like other challenges in life; illness, disease, death, accidents, set-backs etc. - the only way through them is 'through'.  The kindest thing we can do for each other is to be kind.  We can't 'carry' their loads but we can turn them to the One who already has.  We can pray for one another and seek to teach true principles in our callings.  Truth is the great healer.  As our current Stake President said in a recent Stake Conference "We OWE it to one another to live the gospel!"  We affect one another.

That's what I leave with you this day!
And...thanks for sharing your kindnesses with me - albeit on-line!  :)


1 comment:

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