Thursday, March 12, 2009

Single Stats: Women to Men

As a newly-called Singles Rep for our Stake I have also been given a calling as Regional Co-Chair for Special Activities. Apparently we have 24 (soon to be 25) stakes in our region. The stats show that there are about 10 women per 1 man. And, that there are approx. 30 Temple Worthy women to 1 men. No wonder many of us are still single.
As well, we have over 7,000 singles in our region. That's about 2 full stakes of singles. And, most of them don't attend any activities because they aren't aware of them. Most wards don't have single reps and some stakes still don't. The biggest problem seems to be lack of sharing of information. Without ward reps the word doesn't get out. Many singles who would like to attend activities don't even know that they exist.

I met with the Bishops in our stake last night. They are good men. It was rewarding to present to them our 'dilemma' and try to obtain their support and tender mercies. Oftimes I think that we're on the bottom rung of the totem pole in importance. Perhaps it's because we're not the 'squeaky wheel', or maybe it's because when someone hasn't experienced something they don't really know or understand the challenges and needs of that circumstance.

I believe my role is to help share insights so that we can bless all in the fold; especially those on the outskirts. To that end I will strive!


Rick Carpenter said...

I cannot speak for the work of the singles reps or the attendance or quality of the singles activities, even though I have heard the 'horror' stories about some of them. But I can say that single sisters get a pretty high priority in our ward and stake. We make sure the priesthood leadership always invites them to socials and other functions. We will not let them feel left out. And the home teachers had better not miss seeing them! That's a big no-no. I know of some wards that are so insensitive as to actually tell single women that they don't fit in because it's a "married person's church". Those people need to be taken out behind the woodshed and whooped with a willow switch! There couldn't be anything more ignorant and insensitive than to treat a fellow-saint that way. I went to the temple today with my wife (part of a daytime date because we couldn't go out at night). There was a single sister from our ward in the session who is a good friend of mine, and who serves in the young women's program with my wife. I felt bad for her. As we were in the prayer circle, there she was sitting on the front row, watching us. I wished that someone would be there for her. But I know that the Lord is aware of her needs and feelings. Sometimes I wish I could command the heavens to find good husbands for you sweet sisters. But I realize it is a lot like being given some other challenge like a physical handicap. There may not be much anyone can do about it in the present but pray for understanding. We all just have to deal with it the best we can (both the person 'afflicted' and those who are in a position to comfort). My heart goes out to you and the rest. Especially those of you who don't compromise your standards in order to attract the men who don't deserve you. I notice there are a lot of LDS women who let the loneliness overcome their standards, and they dress with less modesty, and look to worldly entertainment. It's sort of like women who find their man in a bar (especially a sports bar), then wonder why there are problems later on. Agreed, the odds don't look promising in the short-term. But I really appreciate your last post about what President Packer said. Doesn't it make more sense to look forward to the 'hundred-fold' blessings for remaining true to your convictions, rather than try to become the 'hooters girl with the hunting license' and get paired with a man who might damage your family peace and hurt your spirituality? Heidi, you are on track to be that valedictorian you wrote about. Just be true to yourself, serve where asked, be happy, love your family, and you will be able to say that you fought the good fight, that you finished the course, and that you kept the faith. Nothing could be better. You will get a 'trophy' husband who deserves you.

On a side note, about those statistics, I wonder how many of the single men are temple-worthy. If you compare 'apples to apples', is it 30 temple-worth women to 1 temple-worthy man, or is that compared to all men? What would it be if both sides were temple-worthy? 50 to 1 or worse? What does that say about the spiritual maturity of the men? Should I feel a little bit of 'gender shame'?

susette said...

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Heidi A. said...

Thanks, Rick,
You said it all.
And...with SUCH kindness and empathy. Were that there were more men like you, this world would be a much nicer place.

It seems to me that we are here to learn how to treat others - amidst the conflict. You seem to have arrived in that area!

Bless you for your goodness and ...thank you for being so thoughtful.

I've had a few harsh things said to me over the years too. It's taken me a while to realize that they know not what they do.

The quest is to hold to the rod, pressing forward with faith in Christ. I hope to do that and to do it with joy and cheerfulness (as you suggested.)

I don't know about the stats of men to women in Temple Worthiness but do recall that Isaiah said it would be 7 to 1. I think we're there! And, it will all be worth it in the end! And, I hope that you'll get a lot of extra points! :)