Okay, so what do I do? I guess I need not ask you all -- rather ask the Lord. But, I'll throw it out there anyway. Perhaps you have a valid response.
Ski trips, cruises, dance lessons, athletics, swim teams, sports academy memberships, trips and travels, new dresses each Sunday, large homes, basketball and tennis courts, horses, snowmobiles etc. All these things are items we've lacked and have had to discuss in our home as many of our friends, family members, neighbors and ward members have these things. We can't afford any of them. It wouldn't be so bad if it were a temporary thing but it's been 9 yrs. and we've not been blessed with these opportunities.
I don't think I feel sorry for myself; as we have 'sufficient for our needs' but, I do wish that sometimes we could have an outlet more than just going for a walk or petting stray cats. lol
We are blessed and are very grateful for what the Lord has done for us. And yet, the load is heavy and we sometimes wish for a helping hand or just someone noticing that we don't have the same opportunities that they do. (Sometimes validation is the only thing that is needed.) I wish that I were truly happy for all the ward members who just returned from a cruise with their spouses; but, for some reason, I haven't been able to feel that. Perhaps that is something that I really need to change.
Tears have been shed over the years at the 'blessings' that others' seem to have and we don't. It might be easier to live out in the boonies where we wouldn't have to see the comparisons. Yet, that, apparently is not in the plan for us, as we've been led to this place and are grateful to have a roof over our heads and small bedrooms to share.
I wonder if some of my sadness about the whole thing is that in our affluent society we might tend to forget those who have less. It might be easy for us to think that since we are doing well -- that everyone else is too. I fear that I did that too before I was in this circumstance. I've repented about that and hope that I will never see others' in need and not care.
I'm working 3 jobs and raising 3 children alone. I have 3 callings and try to do whatever the Lord would have me do. I've sought him in mighty prayer and feel that I am doing what He would have me be doing at this time in my life; though it can be very lonely and difficult and that path seems to be unending. I've learned that those who have never experienced this are most often completely unaware and sometimes even uncaring. I don't seem to have much of a friendship with those who are oblivious, rather the ones I love most dearly are the 'real', humble and sincere ones who seem to be more aware of life's challenges and are not trying to keep up with the Jones'. And there are no manner of 'ites' among them.
What do you think?
And.... I REALLY wish we'd send the money from the planned ward ski-trip to the African village where children LONG to go to school but are only able to if they have the required $13.00 uniform. They have no way to get that money. $13.00 would change their whole life! I believe we'll be held accountable for how we use our resources.
Brigham Young said: "Here is what I have, it is the Lords'. He has given me all that I possess, it is only committed to my charge to see what I will do with it".